She looks out on the vast expanse of Greek islands. Still on her mind is last night in Bombay, and the way a colorful, spinning room looks from behind drunken eyes. She also thinks about her students, how even when you are face to face with them something within is as distant as the farthest rocky isle. Between underage convicts and Vietnam and undecided identity is undamageable solace and hope. She pours another glass, calls a neighbor, and tells him to sell her house.
How am I to live in warmth and smiling moments of brilliance when every minute I am one minute closer to never having existed at all? My six year old self, a moment of realization, my long eyelashes and clumsy joints sink back into the floor, drooping, where I came from long ago. And in this time, when the world is pushed on to my unexpecting body with the waterlogged potency of a drowned flower, I understand. I understand that everyone who has ever lived has died, and that makes them braver than me.
Gold Gold Gold
on your fingertips
rattling in your lungs
gritting between your teeth
Joints pressing into one another.
Softly kissing and filing away
filing away into submission
submission to your blood
leaving gold dust in your veins.
One thing you did not know about me is that my skeleton is pure metal.
You can grind my structure down to a pearlescent powder
I will walk away unscathed.
WORDS I LOVE
"They’ll tell you you’re too loud - that you need to wait your turn; and ask the right people for permission. Do it anyway."
“If you think adventure is dangerous, try routine; it is lethal.”
"I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles."
"Life isn't always about quotable quotes, it's about real people doing real things when it really matters."
"G*ddamn*t Amelia Avi get the f*ck out of the f*cking g*ddamn sh*t g*ddamn*t Avi sit on your f*cking hands g*ddamn s*it ... "